Ask Ava

These days you can ask Ava anything and she'll answer you. You might not get the answer you want, and usually her favorite response is "noooo."

When I get in the car to take her to school, I ask her if she knows where she's going. She quickly shouts "scoooo scooo scoooo!" Then we sing our School Song that goes a little something like this:

Ava's going to school, to school, to school. Ava's going to school to play with all her friends!

When she comes home from school I ask her if she had fun. About 99.9% of the time her answer is "yesh." The other .1% of the time is "NOOOOO!" I think once she comes home from school she is in meltdown mode for a while. It's like we have to do a little detox with gummy fruit snacks and a drink before I can get her to answer anything besides "NOOO!"

The cutest thing about asking her questions is that she knows exactly what we're talking about. You tell her something once and she remembers it.

It just brightens my day when I ask her: "Ava, how many babies does mommy have in her belly" and she points to my stomach and says "TEEEEEWWWWW."

How lucky are the twins going to be to have such a great older sister! She will definitely keep them on their toes no differently than she does me and Rory :)

Now or Never

If I didn't sit down to do this post now, then I'd probably never do it. It's not that anything is going to be super important or extra special. It's just that this pregnancy is making me neglect everything in all areas around me. These twins are already kickin' my butt!

I must admit, I've been a little slow at work lately. I stay caught up and I get the job done, but if I really focused then I could get it done faster. Everything has slowed down for me. The twins are draining every ounce of energy I have. Rory has completely picked up the slack, and I don't know how he does it. Sometimes I get more exhausted just by watching him go...go...go! The guy never stops. He has continued to get Ava ready every morning (something he's done since she's been a few months old,) he's picking her up from school (because I've been going home at 3 o'clock...to sleep,) he's been coming home and cooking dinner, cleaning up, giving Ava her bath and putting her to bed.

Basically my husband has been "Super Dad" as I like to call him!

I couldn't be more proud than right now to say that he has truly come through for our family. He doesn't stop or slow down and somehow he finds the strength to just keep pushing through. I really look up to him in so many aspects of his life. He's a successful business owner, a great father, and a fantastic husband...need I say more?

Right now I'm home early to sleep, so I'm going to log off the computer and do just that. In the meantime I can't promise I'll be posting daily, but I'll do my best during this 1st trimester to post weekly. Maybe I can move up after that when I get some more energy back and dedicate more time to the blog. I didn't even do a Valentine's Day theme layout...pathetic...I know ;)

Hang in there with me...just think...when the twins come the blog will turn into twice the fun!

Wanted: Weatherman

So, how many of you are qualified to read a weather map? I'm looking for a weatherman to tell me what these to black spots mean?

You guessed it...

TWINS!

I can't lie, Rory and I were in a little bit of shock but we are super excited! I know Ava is going to be a great big sister! We go back in two weeks for some super mega big daddy ultrasound where I'll have a more set in stone due date. Our unofficial due date is "the end of Sept./the beginning of Oct."

I'm going to keep this short and sweet, as it's way past my bedtime.

God does answer prayers!

Terrible Twos

I shouldn't be saying this phrase for hmmm...5 more months or so. Well unfortunately this is the reality. The diva has been struck by the terrible twos at 18 months. Just our luck! You could say to Rory and I "well you're just getting payback for the way you were when you were younger." It is my understanding that for the both of us, we were pretty well behaved when we were younger. So that excuse just isn't going to cut it for me. ;)

First of all I think that Ava can "sense" something is different with me. About a week or two before we found out that we're expecting #2 she started acting very strange to me. I just chalked this up to a "phase." Anytime your baby changes something they do, people just refer to it as a "phase," so that's just what I thought of it as. She doesn't want me to bathe her, she doesn't want me to get her dressed, she doesn't want me to give her her bedtime milk, she sure doesn't want me to cuddle with her before bedtime. Can we say...DADDY'S GIRL! If Daddy's not doing it...then it just doesn't cut it for her. This has caused a little bit of tension between her and I. I try to be cooperative, but at times it can be difficult.

Most of the time she is just simply defiant. Time outs use to work when she was afraid of me. Now that she's getting older she thinks I'm funny and not really scary or threatening. It's okay though because her humor in situations tend to help ease the stress. I tend to just walk away laughing as well. I'm not really laughing with her but at myself for allowing this little tiny child take advantage of me.

She sure is going to be spoiled...wait...she already is. I'm not naive enough to think that she'll stop crossing every line I draw and pushing every button I never even knew I had. I brought this child here and I will joyfully care for her, BUT in the meantime, I don't have to enjoy the terrible two's! I try to find encouragement and strength to enjoy these moments in this song by Trace Adkins.

I know one day I'm going to miss this, so pray I can continue to embrace this "phase."

Abra Bow-Dabra

Have I been slacking in the "did I tell you how much I love Ava" Dept? If I have then let me refresh your memory.

I love this child! Of course this feeling is probably natural, but I'm scared she won't know how much I love her when her sidekick comes.

Everyday she amazes me. She ALWAYS is making Rory and me laugh. She definitely knows how to light up any room. It took Rory and I a long road to become blessed with Ava. It was extremely physically and emotionally draining. I don't think there was ever a point in my life that I could say I gave my whole heart to attempting something. I gave more strength, love, devotion, dedication...you name it...I gave it just to be blessed with this beautiful child. I just want her to always know how special she is to my heart.

Yes, Rory and I had to tread those same waters this time around, but it was different. Something wasn't the same as it was the first time. Do you ever get use to the roller coaster of infertility? I don't think so! I especially wasn't prepared for it a second time after successfully conceiving Ava. I thought after having her I could be "normal" like everybody else in the world. Rory and I could want a child, try for a child, and become pregnant. That's not what happened. Honestly, I don't know what happened this time that made it so different. I guess because I mentally (as much as possible) tried to prepare myself for the ups and downs of fertility treatment. The only inner struggle I had going on was feeling selfish. We've already received Ava in our lives; however, what on earth makes me so important to think I can just simply "want" another one? The more I ran that through my head the more selfish I felt I became.

Sometimes you just have to let go. It's not simple nor is it fun. I hate to sound so ridiculously cliche when I say this, but I followed the mantra of "whatever will be...will be!" That's it. It was that simple. I had to let go of the strongholds in my mind and that surrounded me. My therapist told me a long time ago "if you're not mentally healthy for you, you sure can't be healthy for anybody else." It's so true.

I'm overwhelmed with joy that God has allowed us to be blessed twice, especially when I know people out there who are still fighting for their first.

No matter what happens from here on out, I just want my children to know how much I appreciate them being in my life, how great it is to have unconditional love for them, and how I will never turn my back on them.

I didn't mean for this post to become a little on the deep side, hence the post title.

So let me introduce you to...

A TRUE SOUTHERN GIRL WHO LOVES HER BOWS...MISS AVA O'BRIEN

Now can't you see why I love her so much?

Psalm 107:9-For he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.


Lord knows...I'm thirsty!

Silence & Secrets

I hate secrets. I can't stand people who keep them and I can't stand people who tell them. I've been like that as far back as I can remember. I snoop when I think somebody is keeping a secret. I can't help it.

This is what usually happens in my house...I buy gifts for people early. I just like to be prepared. No matter the time of the year, if I see something that I think would be a good gift for somebody then I'll buy it. This is where the problem comes. I'm a softy when it comes to keeping things from people, especially Rory. I buy him gifts before his birthday but since I can't keep them a secret and I get so excited to share them...

You guessed it. I give him his gifts early and then buy him more so he's got some to open on his actual birthday.

Can you say "guilty as charged!"

This brings me to today.

I'm breaking the silence (Rory and I are in agreement.) Well I should say, Rory and I are breaking our silence.

Ava is going to be a BIG SISTER!!!

We're so excited! Early on we chose not to share this with many people, but since Ava's birthday we've had to take the fertility route again. Hence my comment in last weeks post that said "Patience pays off!"

Speaking of patience...

Please be patient with us, and understand why we've been hesitant to share the news. It's not that we're not excited, we're cautious and leary. When you've experienced miscarrying then you can probably relate. The more people you tell early on then (if sometime happens) the more you have to share the loss and relive the pain. We've been there, done that, and really don't care for the shirt.

This time we've decided to embrace each day. We're going to celebrate this new life as long as we can, and we will be so honored when we get to meet our new baby.

Now comes the hard work. Preparing Ava. Cross your fingers. Cross your toes. Say your prayers for us :)

God Bless!

***update*** picture of the tutu that was promised. The pic is by far magazine quality but I'm learning ;)